005 with Ken Canfield
Intro: Did your father impact your life by his presence or absence? Fathers have a significant influence on their children’s development, whether they are present and engaged or not. This episode explores the ways that fathers can have the most effective impact on their children.
Being a father to children, one of society’s most significant jobs, comes with less preparation than one gets with driving a car. Add to that the effects—good or bad—that one’s own father has had on a man’s life. Once we put these things together, being a father is often beyond what we think we can do, let alone do well. In this podcast, Ken Canfield shares with us the seven secrets of effective fathers to give us a starting point to father well.
“If we do not connect with the hearts of our children and then connect with the heart of the Heavenly Father which empowers us, we are going to be impotent. We are not going to do what God has for us to do. It’s incumbent on us to deal with whatever father wound or void is in our own life first.” —Ken
“When you show up keep your promises and follow through, that’s like gold.”—Ken
“The gift of being a dad: you get to work and get things cleaned up that you didn’t even know was a mess. […] It brings you into a humble human state where you can […] repent to those in [your] family.”—Ken
“When we love our child’s mother, […] treating [her] with civil respect [in the situations warranting it], […] the more we engage and build marital strength and satisfaction, it’s like putting money in our long-term family system saving account. That is going to pay off with future generations.”—Ken
“The mark of a great dad is what he does after he fails.”—Ken
Of all the secrets, active listening is one that you can apply today. Consider how often Jesus used questions to draw out information and create bonds with people. Then,ask thoughtful questions and listen to your children’s responses to strengthen your family relationships.
Resources mentioned in or related to this episode:
The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers: Becoming the Father Your Children Need Ken R. Canfield
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