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4 E’s of Effective Mentoring

Disciple Men through One-on-One Mentoring

Before I talk about “Disciple Men through One-on-One Mentoring,” I want to share an email that I received from one of the men who was mentored by Barry Lynch. Barry serves on the Christian Mentors Network staff and is in charge of our Mentor Coach Training for men.

“My name is Tim Kurtz I used to be a pastor in student ministry and worship. In 2001, two days after September 11, my oldest son Bryan, was going through a time of personal struggle and fear and decided that the solution was to end his life.

Four years after my son’s suicide, I was in a deep depression. I cannot explain the struggle I encountered during that time but it was coming from every angle in my life. I found myself hating GOD with all my heart. I also became filled with hatred and bitterness towards anyone who claimed to be a Christian. Everything seemed to be dark, hopeless, and I lost all trust in GOD.

In 2008, I moved my family down to the southeast valley of Phoenix where I met the man GOD had prepared for me. His name is Barry Lynch. After a few sentences into our conversation Barry asked me if I would take a look at some books he had and asked if I would be interested in getting together. I told him I would love to get together.

We met at a Paradise Bakery every week and Barry began to just share his life with me. I poured hatred, bitterness, and anger out while he poured faith, hope, and love back in. God had produced the very fruit in his life that I was so desperate for. Besides meeting with me every week he would text me scripture and want to know what I thought of it. This got me digging in to the Word for myself where the Lord met me and spoke words of healing in to me.

I am walking with the Lord now in a way that is not just back to where I was, no, He has brought me to a new place. I am now doing for others what Barry did for me. I plan on doing it until the day I die. I am so grateful to God for Barry and I know many men now who feel the same way. Restored and Grateful, Tim”

Tim’s letter points out how Barry was able to go deeper by discipling Tim through a one-on-one mentoring process. He used all 4 powerful steps: Engage, Equip, Empower and Employ.

Step One: Engage men in the mentoring process.

  • Pray that God will bring the men that he has prepared for mentoring.
  • Listen to what they are saying until it is clear that they want a stronger walk with the Lord.
  • Invite them to meet with you one-on-one to determine if they are ready to make a commitment to the mentoring process.

Step Two: Equip men to become loving obedient followers of Christ.[arrowlist]

  • Mentor men by sharing your own life experience and how you deal with certain issues through God’s Word and the direction of the Holy Spirit. Mentoring is for those who want to go deeper in their relationship with Christ.
  • Exemplify Christ in all that you say and do. Paul said it best in I Corinthians 11:1, “Imitate me even as I also imitate Christ.” Men learn how to become loving obedient followers of Christ by seeing how it is done through the way we live our lives in front of them. Mentoring is an apprenticeship in becoming Christ-like.
  • Disciple men by getting them into God’s Word through a solid Biblical and replicable curriculum. The goal is heart transformation not behavioral modification. In order to change the way a man behaves we need to first help him change the way he thinks.

Step Three: Empower men to rely on the Word of God and the Holy Spirit.[arrowlist]

  • God’s Word is what makes one-on-one mentoring so effective in transforming men’s hearts and empowering them to become Christ-like.
  • Holy Spirit leads men into all truth and reminds us of everything that Christ taught. The Bible says, “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)

Step Four: Employ men in the activity of mentoring other men.[arrowlist]

  • Replication one of the most powerful results of the Christian Mentors Network’s mentoring process is that it produces mentors. Paul said to Timothy, one of his mentees, “And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” (II Timothy 2:2)
  • Continuation Can you imagine what would happen if every believer decided to make it their mission to mentor twelve others in their life time, and then teach them to do the same?
  • Relationship Experiencing the life transformation that takes place in the men that you mentor gives you a sense of value and purpose you may have never known previously. When you see your mentees go from being ordinary Christian men to victorious warriors for Christ, it gives you the greatest sense of significance a man can have. Mentor and Mentee often develop deep relationships that will last a lifetime.

Taken from Mentoring His Way – Disciple Twelve by Roy Comstock

and Go Deeper: 4 Powerful Steps to Disciple Men through One-on-One Mentoring

Available online at: or as E-books

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